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TAURUS 2019

WTF?!? is your mantra this year. You just love hearing that, right? By the end of this year, though, you’re going to LOVE you some WTF. Stay tuned.
You’ll feel it coming your way, like a faraway siren (the firetruck kind, not the cool ocean kind) until March, but part of the expertise of this brand of WTF is that you never quite know when it will strike. And it’s going on until 2026. (If you want the official astrology jargon, it’s Uranus in Taurus.) 
Astrologers have a nickname for Uranus: The Awakener. So yeah, trouble sleeping, weird dreams, alarms and phone calls at the wrong times. But the big thing is an awakening to yourself. You’ll get the power to see yourself as a video game character, from all angles, through alternate realities. 
It will hit those born early in Taurus most, at first, but think of it as lightning, which strikes all over the place, or one of those spa bathrobes that are supposed to be so cozy but end up giving you a static shock in the tuchas every time you move and you’re all what is causing these shocks, is this fabric reacting to the duvet or the remote or the pink Himalayan salt lamp or WTF?!?
But Uranus is not the only planet, damnit, Janet. People underestimate the Taurus intellect and philosophical depth all the time. They think you’re a creature only of spa robes and thick steaks. But Taurus is also traditionally the sign of Siddhartha Gautama, the Buddha. That’s where you’re going with this. You could be the one who teaches the rest of us what’s left when we’ve experienced the death of oil, the death of meat, and the death of banking. Those are all things you thought were dear to you, that gave you comfort. But what really moved you was what lay beneath these: the earth, the abundance, the treasure. You’re going to show yourself and the rest of us what wealth truly is. 
So do you have any comfort for yourself on this deep spiritual journey? You betcha. When it comes to sex, you’re going to be rollin like a 1960s commune shaman, except completely ethical and consensual and body-positive! Like Marvin Gaye singing “Sexual Healing,” except without the deep personal and social tragedies and substance abuse! With one partner or as many as you feel are right for you, with sex and love with others or happily by yourself, with humans or with art and or the natural world, every type of loving and kind relationship will have a cosmic depth and resonance. That’s worth any amount of WTF, wouldn’t you say?