For yourself or as a gift—
the practical insights start here. 

Birthday year-ahead report: $150

Three pages (about 1,300 words) of custom guidance based on natal, transit, progressed, and solar return charts. That means what you were born with and what's in the environment.  

Star portrait: $150
Straight-out natal, that is, birthday-based; three pages / 1,300 words. This creates a portrait of your outer and inner worlds with the goal of revealing hidden talents and qualities or ways expression is being blocked, or just ways you can understand and appreciate yourself more. I look at not only the traditional planets and new points, but scan hundreds of points for interesting objects that might resonate in your chart. Is your Sun conjunct the star named after David Bowie? That would be pretty cool, right? I look for stuff like that.  

BabyScopes: $200 

It’s a good idea to wait for about six months after birth to do a horoscope. There are cosmic reasons having to do with etheric bodies and eclipse cycles, but also, I had a baby myself. You don't have time to look at it yet. If you want one for a gift, I send you a card to use for the shower or birth, and send a reminder to the recipient.  

Three pages and about 1,300 words, this chart focuses on objects and points associated with what some call fate or karma. Some of these include the Nodes, the Vertex, pre- and post-natal eclipses, and objects such as Saturn and Chiron. That said, I don’t think anything is fated. You can play eight notes on a piano and come up with endless melodic variation; same for this report.

The goals here are to open up some new ways to relate to your amazing baby and to give all of us a chance to wonder at and appreciate how they are unique in all the universe. Yay, baby! 

The Best Date: $150 or custom 
For centuries, people have used astrologers to determine the best dates for marriages and new ventures. Today, ain’t nobody got time for that. Dates for momentous occasions such as marriages and book launches and ribbon-cuttings and business filings are set by all kinds of more powerful forces than planets, such as caterers. HOWEVER. I can help you choose a date, if this is under your control. OR I can also look at the date you’ve chosen, and give you some positive insights on how it colors the future and how you can naturally work with the energies of that date to extend the happiness and success implicit to every single union and launch. The latter is about three pages or 1,300 words. Some people choose these for a wedding gift. I don't do design, but I can recommend someone who can make it pretty. 


All charts are sent through email, as a Microsoft Word attachment. You contact me through this website, or through my email, if you got it from a current client. I then contact you to get your email, your birthdate, place, and TIME, and your preferred pronoun for the chart. If you don't know the time, we can work something out so you'll get a comparably insightful report. I bill you on delivery, via PayPal or Venmo. I'm psychic, so if you're a con, I'll just pretend I never got your request. Deal? 

Yes, I can do phone or just about anything else, so ask.

I can change any part of this process if you have different abilities or needs, in order to give you a comparable service at a comparable price. Accommodations are not exceptional. They're reality. 


Your comfort matters to me. I use lots of colloquial language and sometimes sound like a sailor (no offense to sailors! My family are sailors!). But reserving the right to cuss doesn’t give me license to be insensitive. I strive continually to educate myself on inclusive and unbiased language. If you are ever made uncomfortable or troubled in the slightest, please let me know, so I can correct myself and thank you for your labor. I’m currently working on increasing accessibility features in all my work; let me know if these can be made easier for you in any way. 

Your confidentiality matters to me. I know it’s kind of weird, but I’m like CIA-serious about this. I keep it small so I can do it this way. Your name, birth data, and any payment information are never linked anywhere or stored in proximity, except indirectly when an attachment with birth data is sent to an email address. Birth data only is filed online and always under a code. The key to the code that links your data with your name is in old-fashioned handwriting, in one place, and it gets trashed if I disappear. If you ever want me to delete your files, just ask.